Destiny..

I've been fasting n prayin for da whole week..

While worrying for my exam..

I'm oso Seekin my destiny..

Now I've an important decision to make..

To go or to stay..

I admit, I feel heavy when I tot of leaving dis place, leaving my family n frens, n even leaving my ministry, church, dearest cell members, n oso him..

I noe its a reali good chance to go to a new environment, to learn new things, c da whole wide world, meet whole bunch of new frens..........

Actually.. I noe he influenced me alot.. He say.. Go, y not.. Such a gud chance...

N deep inside my heart.. I oso could use dis as a reason.. To go to another place, to escape fr something, to forget something, n to forget him.. N I could start a whole new life again..

Spoked to a sis today.. She encouraged me alot wif her testimony..

She say its God's destiny dat she could giv up such a gud chance to go overseas study..

Ppl might tink she's stupid, but she say she nvr regret dat she chosed to stay..

She say memories here she get throughout dis years is so precious dat she wont exchange it wif going overseas..

She's now happy n contented wif wat she has..

She told me.. Nvr make a decision to fly juz to escape fr some1 or something..

I guessed.. She somehow knows wat i tink.. Reali is a gud leader of mine... XD

Talked to Pastor oso.. He says.. Pray, n hand it to God..

By chance.. I found out something...

Something I tot I will noe when it happen..

Pray dat all things wil be all well ends well..

God, pls tel me wats my destiny..

Wat shd i study n shd i go?

Pls make me love u more..

Pls help me, dat in watever decisions i make, its from u lord..

I pray dat u'll giv me a clean heart..

Juz to love U n worship u..

I hope U'll tel me, giv me a sign, dat i shd go or not..

As for him, I promised myself, I'll start to forget, as I noe time passes, n some truth reveals, it onli brings pain n sadness to myself.. Even though I've failed many times, yet i noe, 1 day i'll forget him completely.. N hope dat we may stil be frens forever..

Til den.. I hand in my life to God..

Lord, U're my refuge n shelter..

U loved me more den anything else in dis world..

Lord, hold me in ur arms n I'll find peace n joy in u............